Page 31-I can recall those times I would ask God to bless me with extra funds so I could pay this debt or that bill. I was working and making ok money. Yet, I always felt trapped with bills. I had a serious shopping habit and my taste has always been expensive.
I specifically remember one time asking God to make sure I had the money I needed to pay my car notes which were $393.91 each month. I was also praying for peace because I got tired of stressing and worrying and getting depressed over bills.
God granted me the peace first. My car eventually got repossessed and I was so mad at God. I asked “how can you do this to me???” I trusted God for everything (I still do) so I couldn’t understand at the time why He could (what I thought) betray my trust in Him by allowing my car to get repossessed.
After all, He is God and can do ALL things, right? Well, what I didn’t know (then) was that He was relieving me from the slavery I had placed myself in. Yes, I said slavery because anytime you have to do labor that you don’t enjoy to end up giving your earnings to someone or something that will not bring you a higher return and will eventually cost you to lose more money in the long term, then to me, that’s slavery. Because it’s not an investment. It’s a waste of resources. And for what? Just to look and feel good on the outside? While on the inside, you’re becoming rotten: worrying or stressing about how you gon make ends meet. Taking out loans, owing money (when God said we are lenders and not borrowers); becoming so desperate that you begin sellling stuff, including your body just so you can keep up. With who though🤷🏽♀️.
The things we go through to be impressive. I thank God for His Will and not mine. When my car got repossessed, it was the beginning of a peace I would not understand until 14 years later! No longer worrying about how I would pay the note, the insurance, the maintenance, the gas, parking tickets etc. I would get around much better now than the road rage I carried while driving.
Walking became my method of exercise and transportation. I had a chance to slow down and smell the flowers (literally), watch the sky and the birds traveling, the sun shining down, the stars sparkling bright with the moon at night, people watching and communication, dancing while walking, singing while walking...the peace I never experienced rushing through rush hour madness even when there was no traffic. I was always in a rush; hardly taking time to connect with nature and enjoy the simple things in life; the things that don’t cost a dime; those are the bests.
God gave me peace through freedom. Freedom from being impressive to being inspiring. Not too many will appreciate this level. But it is so worth experiencing. I’ll be your inspiration.
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